I Am a Rock - Simon & Garfunkel Lyrics
Story of the 1st world war… Awful, awful to see what these men had to endure, to do to survive.
Others books I must read (for uni) this week or the next one:
“About the war” from Clausewitz
The Perseans: (Les Perses) from Eschyle
Hope the next ones will be less “gore”, all these men dying, it’s hard, even though I’m not at their place, all these bodies everywhere and the descriptions…I must finish this book asap.
I’d love to have a vinyle lector, it’s not the proper name in English maybe, but you see what I’m talking about…
Infortunately it’s not as cheap as I thought it was :/ not at all, which makes sense…
Besides, the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.
Garden State to Frou Frou Let Go
[OST] Pina - trailer original soundtrack (full length)
I’m thinking about writting my diary here, again
don’t know if it’s a good idea…(and if it will make me lose followers, not if I cared about the number, only the quality of them is important)
Or maybe I just should STUDY
(yes, my whole life is study + meet my best friend + family + watching movies or tv shows/ series which can prevent me to think my myself)
By the way, I must STOP WATCHING MOVIES, let’s do this together, my “me” and my “over-me” (wow bam: a souvenir from your philosophy class !): let’s think in a PRODUCTIVE way.
1) I didn’t pass my first year of engineering class, even though I studied like crazy, and more than everyone else maybe in my class:
A) what’s the problem with that ?
B)Do I REALLY want to do this ?
almost COMPLETELY let my parents decide for myself what I should do and BAM I let them decide what the good thing in question was: REPEATING THE SAME YEAR ( almost: mathematics option instead of physics: wow great) IN ANOTHER PLACE
and where ? IN MY CITY, little city of the northern of France, and I will live in my parent’s home, like at the “good old days of highschool” (did I mention I was in Paris this year ? it was cool being in Paris, even though studies went like HELL and I couldn’t hang out in Paris you can imagine: hehe I was studying all the time)
3) What shall I think about the fact they yelled at me during 1 week because I hadn’t passed my first year ? saying that I sucked, I was a 0, that I was “minable” and “not mature enough to success in my studies [what ? me, not mature ?] and so one.
I used to be angry on the inside and not talking much on the outside but it’s not a good way to live, so I fake to have forgotten, but I’m not really, a bit, but not really, but it’s bad being full of bad feelings,
I should forget or forgive, whatever, but all these bad feelings against them make me sick.
4) What should I do about my bff almost yelling at me saying that I shouldn’t do this awful year again, saying that I’m too scared to face my parents and tell them I don’t want to do this again…
but I don’t even know if I REALLY enjoy studying mathematics !
I don’t even know what my passions are ! I used to but I forced myself so much studying what I was supposed to ! I don’t know anymore.
The final truth: I gave all my capacities to success in these studies that both my great older sisters did with success (engineering), I put all my energy, I almost became “hyperphagic” I…don’t really know what to think, I just wanted to sleep and not thinking anymore, so I accepted when my parents refused me to pay my trip to germany where I was supposed to work this summer, ( to discover new things, open my mind, for god’s sake !)saying they weren’t willing to do efforts for me anymore, since I hadn’t passed this engineering first year.
And yet, last year I had passed with high grades with the best mention ever my french “baccalauréat” and they were so proud, and EVERYONE in my family were thinking I was going to success with high grades the next years in engineering classes…aw, life…
But now I have been in Greece with them for 3 weeks now, and I had all the rest I needed, and now it’s time to think.
yes, This post was not supposed to be like this.
I suppose I’m going to write a bit on here
(advices would be appreciated, if you want, but I don’t think anyone is going to read until here actually x)
[Stay strong all of you]